Start Time - 2:43 AM
Today I am going to tell the story of the Tangled, an animation movie. This was produced by Walt Disney. The story begins with a magical flower. It is a drop of sunlight falls to ground, grows as flower.
It has the magical power to heal the wound and illness, when you sing a song. An old arrogant lady found the flower. She used it to keep her beauty, youth. One sad day the queen of the kingdom got sick while giving birth of a girl. So they used the magical flower to heal her. The power becomes the golden hair of the baby.
The old lady found the secret of the hair and kidnapped the princess. Hides in a mountain hide tall tower. After few years, a young thief found her, showed herself by taking outside of the tower. Then he killed the old lady, returns the princes back to kingdom. The story is happily ended.
End Time - 3:00 AM
"giving birth of a girl" should be "giving birth to a girl"
ReplyDelete"Hides in a mountain hide tall tower." made no sense to me.
"showed herself by taking outside of the tower" is also vague.
In this post, u are telling a story. You should maintain a consistency in tense. But, u have used both past and present tenses["Then he killed the old lady, returns the princes back to kingdom"].
ReplyDeleteStories can be told in two ways.
Way1(all in past tense): Dasaratha gave birth to Rama and three more children. Rama and Lakshmana went to forest. While they were on their way, Ravana took Rama's wife. Later, Rama killed Ravana and got her wife back.
Way2(all in present tense - Telling as if it is happening now): Dasaratha gives birth to Rama and three more children. Rama and Lakshmana are going to forest. While they are on their way, Ravana takes Rama's wife. Now, Rama kills Ravana and gets her wife back.
I may be wrong in my example. But, I hope, I have explained my point correct.
Hi Vinoth,
ReplyDeleteI think, I did the same mistakes again and again. I will try to reduce that. Thanks for your great valuable comments.
Especially the way of story telling example is awesome. It gave me clear understanding.